Just keep swimming...
As I move through each week of module one and reflect upon my BAPP journey I feel as though things are becoming more confusing than ever. I'm never really sure where to start and I know this is something others have spoken about and expressed concerns over in previous discussion groups, so if there is comfort to be found, it's that I'm not the only one. Reading through the handbook I am seeing that this process I am going through is the type of experience that I need to be reflecting upon and evaluating.
So the easiest way for me to do this is just start writing and see what happens. What is it exactly that is stopping me from getting my head around this new style of learning, documenting what I have learnt, and ultimately in turn preventing me from fully embracing this new start? This is not to say that I haven't enjoyed the process so far but more that I'm just not sure if I'm doing it right and have really unlocked the full potential of my studies so far.
I do know that the web 2.0 is playing a huge role in both excelling my studies and holding them back at the same time. Reading other peoples blogs have helped me immensely as I have found many posts to be insightful and thought provoking. I wonder if my fellow students were just able to come out with what they wrote or did they too procrastinate about their post, not exactly sure what to start? Maybe they are just braver than me and went for it?
Outside influences are clearly a having an impact on me and maybe I just don't want to put something out there that is "wrong". This is something I also relate to in my professional practice as I'm sure many artists do. Why do we find it so hard to be vulnerable? Our art is our life and putting it out there for others to observe can be liberating but also terrifying. I know that everyone who takes this course is going to have their own learning experience and in this "unconventional" way of studying we will naturally be lead in different directions as we complete our studies. As long as we continue to learn about ourselves, challenge our thinking and explore new theories we will all grow within our own professional practice.
So the easiest way for me to do this is just start writing and see what happens. What is it exactly that is stopping me from getting my head around this new style of learning, documenting what I have learnt, and ultimately in turn preventing me from fully embracing this new start? This is not to say that I haven't enjoyed the process so far but more that I'm just not sure if I'm doing it right and have really unlocked the full potential of my studies so far.
I do know that the web 2.0 is playing a huge role in both excelling my studies and holding them back at the same time. Reading other peoples blogs have helped me immensely as I have found many posts to be insightful and thought provoking. I wonder if my fellow students were just able to come out with what they wrote or did they too procrastinate about their post, not exactly sure what to start? Maybe they are just braver than me and went for it?
Outside influences are clearly a having an impact on me and maybe I just don't want to put something out there that is "wrong". This is something I also relate to in my professional practice as I'm sure many artists do. Why do we find it so hard to be vulnerable? Our art is our life and putting it out there for others to observe can be liberating but also terrifying. I know that everyone who takes this course is going to have their own learning experience and in this "unconventional" way of studying we will naturally be lead in different directions as we complete our studies. As long as we continue to learn about ourselves, challenge our thinking and explore new theories we will all grow within our own professional practice.
As I work on my first draft to turn in tomorrow, I definitely feel like I've procrastinated, or maybe didn't fully understand what's required to stay afloat while in the programme. The good news is, from what I'm reading at the end of the Module 1 Handbook, it seems ok to include the learning curve to this new "style" in the content of what's on the draft. I think I could go well over 1000 words simply writing about that. I will say that I'm finding if I just get my bum in the chair, and start writing, it has helped. I've founding journaling to be a challenge, since I don't have a ton of time to sit and write, however, what's worked for me is writing a couple lines in "notes" on my phone, and when I find the time, unpacking those thoughts onto paper, and eventually formulating it into a blog, or a more substantial note when I find time. I'll say this, you're not alone in feeling somewhat lost it, I just hope is it's part of the design of the programme, and not because I'm missing something entirely.
ReplyDeleteI am feeling exactly the same! This is such a new style of learning for me too and I am constantly asking myself 'am I doing this right?' And I think this worry of doing it wrong has caused me to procrastinate and get behind! When I do make time to sit and focus on writing the draft I just go blank! I am hoping sending in the draft and getting feedback will help me realise whether I am on the right lines or not because right now I am so unsure?!
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